Today was definitely a better day. I got up at a decent hour, showered, put on makeup and styled my hair. I went to publix then picked up Heidi from the boarders. she was so happy to see me and I was happy to see her. The rest of the day went on normally. I didn't get any laundry done but there is plenty of time for that tomorrow. The downside of the day was when I went to take a picture of myself on my camera phone (good hair day) and saw the result. All I could think was who is that ugly fat pig staring back at me. I have got to do something about my weight and get healthy.

The New Year

Well, I was looking forward to the start of the new year. Certainly 2014 would be better than 2013. And I do have the hope that it will be. Unfortunately, upon returning home Jan. 3rd after spending a good deal of time with my family over the holidays, I fell into a depression. I guess it could be called the post holidays blues but I really think it is primarily loneliness. I was okay on the 3rd. Happy to be home in fact. But the 4th and the 5th were awful. I felt I couldn't leave home due to anxiety and I slept most of the time due to depression, not getting up until late afternoon. My cupboards are totally bare so I ordered food to be delivered and spent way too much money which in and of itself is depressing. And it was fattening food (the only available to be delivered in Goose Creek). I had lost about 10 lbs over the holidays since I was more active and didn't spend all day eating donuts and chocolate as I am want to do. I imagine I have gained some of that back :(

Tomorrow is a new day. I plan to get up at a decent hour, shower, go to the grocery store, pick up Heidi from the boarders and do laundry. Yes, I left Heidi at the boarders over the weekend. A bad idea financially but I didn't feel I could care for her. I've had to board her a couple of times in the last few months when my depression has gotten bad. I talked to the owner about taking Heidi if it ever got to where I just could no longer keep her. She said either she would take her (they love her there) or find someone who would. I love my dog and hope it doesn't come to that. Sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed with having to care for her and I know she is happier around other dogs.

A word about my blog. I am using this as a journal and a way to get things off my chest. If it upsets anyone to see negative posts please just don't read the blog. I need this to help me purge these feelings and usually once I write, I feel a weight has lifted.