Frustration

I am so tired of my life. No purpose. My daughter always taking advantage of me. People saying they want me to tell them what's going on with me but then when I tell them they just don't seem to understand but want to offer solutions that aren't always appropriate to my situation. Then they get frustrated when I don't take their advice . I'm going to stop telling anybody anything. I feel like the only person who understands me is Mary.

Past vs Future

In the last 30 minutes or so I have been feeling such anger towards John. Feelings of hatred and betrayal. I am so tired of living in the past. I know my only way out of my past is looking to and making a future but that seems to be beyond my abilities right now. I've been very sad today. Probably somewhat related to hormones, but I can't blame that for everything. I need change to happen. I know it's in my hands to facilitate change but I just don't know what to do. Everything I try seems to fizzle out so quickly. My health has been so bothersome this summer that I haven't been out to the pool nearly as much as I would like. Or need to be. Hopefully I can see my doctor next week and I'm seeing Dr Naylor Wednesday. I don't know if I should continue with the Viibryd or not. Effexor might be just as effective and it costs $54.00 less.