Sunday, May 17, 2015

Ugh

Today is an overwhelmingly sad day. I can't seem to shake it. all I want to do is lay in bed and sleep to get relief from all these negative thoughts and worries I have. I just took six xanax so that it would knock me out. not good. I need help.

I wish I could just have someone to take over, make decisions for me, and handle them but I'm a Type A personality and like to be in charge so that would be difficult.

I had a horrible thought earlier. I could poison Heidi so that I wouldn't have to care for her anymore. I was mortified that even entered my mind and I would never do it but I guess it just goes to show the state I'm in.

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