Envy

I've been living my life lately with serious envy and or jealousy. Envy of what other people have financially, relationship-wise and just living full lives. I'm tired of feeling this way. I know I'm the only one that can make positive changes in my life and I really have to start. I can have all these things I envy if I just take the first step and start working on myself. Seriously. I also need to work on being grateful for what I have. I don't wish ill of anyone nor do I begrudge them the things and life style they have. But I want that for me too and I just haven't had the motivation or drive or whatever you want to call it to change things. I'm so lonely living alone. My circle is so very small now. I look back on all those years of numerous friendships, church activities, Zeta alumni group, and all the other things I did and just wonder how I got to where I am now. I feel like I'm in a bad dream and just can't wake up.