So I missed my appointment with Dr. Silver last week due to anxiety. Won't be able to see him until Nov. 5th. Saw Dr. Naylor today. Keeping the meds the same for now but have to go back in a month. My anxiety has increased a lot. Will try and go swimming tomorrow. Hopefully get into a routine with that will help. Need to take my dog to the vet due to red irritated skin/itching but I know they will want to do allergy testing and I can't afford that. Benadryl (doctor approved) helps her some but makes her sleepy. Am tired of this life-constant worries about money, overwhelmed over little things, eating like there is a food shortage coming, inability to LIVE life. UGH! 

Later the same day: I feel guilty for the above post but Dr. Silver thinks I should use my blog like a journal so I will. My dog is not suffering and is happy so I'll just plan to take her to the vet if her skin gets to where it is affecting her adversely, such as being painful, open sores, etc. I just feel guilty that I can't afford the best for her. But from what I read online, tons of dogs have this issue and vets can't always help in any way that I am not already doing.

I know I should be thankful for all I do have in my life. Millions of people have problems that make mine seem so insignificant. More guilt now. I'm just so tired of laying in bed at night worried about money. Using my calculator several times a day to add and re-add figures. They never change but I seem so obsessed with it. Am I ever be able to work again? Sometimes it seems like it's a distant dream.